


Strawberries and Cigarettes

by larrrystlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Boy Louis Tomlinson, Based On a Troye Sivan Song, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Smut, Top Louis Tomlinson, Virgin Harry, sorta - Freeform, the smut is a bit rushed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-19 10:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrrystlinson/pseuds/larrrystlinson
Summary: Harry and Louis go to school together but have never actually met. Harry decides to approach the boy he's had a crush on for a while and discovers a new world.Based on the song Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 46





	Strawberries and Cigarettes

Louis. Louis Tomlinson. Arguably the most attractive boy at this school. He’s a senior. Seventeen or eighteen, I’m not quite sure. But either way, he’s way out of my league. And nothing but trouble. According to both Niall and Liam. He hangs around with the burnouts, but he’s anything but. He could be a model, along with his best friend Zayn. They’re both god-like, but Louis’ even more attractive if you ask me. With his striking blue eyes and slight beard and fringe haircut. His jaw could cut glass, or whatever the saying is.

But he’d never go for me. I’m a straight-A student with overly religious parents and no life of my own. I’m a born follower; I do what others want to and nothing more. I spend my nights worried that I’ve done something wrong or, even worse, revealed that I’m gay to my parents.

I don’t know if they’d actually care or not, but I don’t want to risk it. They were okay when my cousin Liz came out, but she’s not their offspring. I know my mom would be okay with it. She’s outright about how supportive she is of any sexuality. But my dad’s a giant question mark. No matter what, me being gay would change everything. But I’m getting off track.

Tonight is the final football game of the season. Meaning that everyone shows up. Including Louis. I’m going to go under the bleachers, where he always is, and try to get him to approach me. I’m going to wear something a bit revealing to hopefully catch his attention. I’m thinking jeans and a white v-neck. And I can wear my Chelsea boots.

Once I’m dressed, I glide down the stairs to tell my mom where I’m going.

“What’s got you dressed so fancily tonight?” I think she knows I’m gay. Mother’s intuition and all that. But she doesn’t say anything about it. Waiting for me to bring it up, most likely.

“I’m going to the final football game of the season.” She smiles warmly and my heart melts. I’m so lucky to have her.

“Well, have fun. Do you need money for food or anything like that?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ve got some cash lying around from working at Roseanne’s.” Roseanne’s is the bakery I work at over the summer. It’s run by a nice old lady named, you guessed it, Roseanne.

“Okay. Well, call me if you need a ride home.” She gives me a peck on the cheek and I slip out of the house, standing outside to wait for Niall.

It’s cold is the thing; I’m immediately covered in goosebumps. In order to impress Louis, I’ve forgone the jacket/gloves/hat portion of the outfit and left myself with as much skin showing as possible. Niall pulls up only a few minutes later, though. I get into the heated car in an understandable hurry, sitting in the back as Liam always takes the passenger’s seat.

The ride to the game is silent, as usual. I love my friends, but they don’t talk much. Niall and Liam dated for a bit, but it ended sourly, so they don’t like each other anymore. Liam wanted to keep it secret, but Niall was ready to come out. It’s too bad, they could’ve been a nice power couple someday. But that’s not what’s important. Their happiness is. They only hang out because of me anymore, which is just uncomfortable.

\----

We get to the football field fifteen minutes late, the perfect time to show up. I manage to slip away from my friends as they fall into a heated argument over something stupid that I can no longer will myself to care about. It’s always the same basic idea- I’m right, you’re wrong. Doesn’t matter what about.

I make my way to the bleachers, my breathing shallow and my nerves high. What if he doesn’t notice me? What if he does?

It’s too late for any doubts, I’m already there. His eyes focus on me for a moment and he says something to his friend. Before I can process what’s happening, he’s walking towards me. He has an unlit cigarette between his fingers, twirling it sexily. If you can be sexy with a cigarette. Who am I kidding, anything and everything Louis does is sexy.

"Can you light my cigarette?" His thickly accented voice is music to my ears and I’m instantly put into a dreamy haze of louislouislouis. I robotically pull out a lighter I had thought to bring at the last moment and shakily light the stick hanging from his lips. He looks me over once and squints at me. “You must be cold. You’re not wearing a jacket.”

Before I can argue, he’s removing his denim jacket and handing it to me. It smells like him, sweet and smoky. “Thank you…”

“No problem.” He winks. Louis fucking Tomlinson just winked at me. “Thank you for lighting my cigarette.”

“Um, you’re welcome.” I stand for a moment, silence filling the space between us.

He breaks it when he reaches his hand forward to shake mine. “I’m Louis.”

“I know. I, uh, I mean-” He laughs and I can’t decide if it means he’s laughing at me or because of me. I turn bright red and start shuffling a bit, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you, Harry.” He reins in his laughter and shakes my hand politely, pulling away a bit. He looks as though he’s about to say something, but then someone calls out his name. “I’ve got to go, Zayn’s calling me. But I hope I see you around. You can find me here after school almost any day. Return my jacket when you have the chance, you know. Have a good night, Harry.”

He’s about to slip away. Just like that. But I won’t let him. It’s taken too damn long for me to get this far for me to let it slip away so soon.

“Can I go with you?” Fudge, I’m an idiot. He’s using this as a way to get away from me.

“Uh- yeah, sure.” My jaw drops and he seems just as shocked as me at his response.

I follow him over to Zayn and stand behind him as he converses with his friend. I don’t want to eavesdrop, so I take out my phone and send Niall and Liam a text telling them that I wasn’t feeling great so I took an uber home. As much as I hate lying, I know they’d drag me away if they knew where I was.

“Harry, right?” I nod at Zayn, Louis’ tall friend. Although, he’s shorter than me. So maybe Louis’ just small. But I don’t care. He’s gorgeous. More so than anyone around us. “D’you wanna come with us? We’re gonna go to the diner down the road and get burgers.”

“Okay.” I follow them in a daze; Louis’ friends want me to hang out with them. And he’s okay with it.

Louis grabs my hand and pulls me along with him to his car. “We’ll be out pretty late. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“Just let me call my parents. I’ll tell them I’m sleeping over a friend's house. Unless you don’t want me to come?”

He covers his words immediately, shocking me. “Of course I want you to come if you want to. You just don’t strike me as the type of kid who would want to.”

“Well, I am. I just have to tell my mom not to expect me home.”

He nods and I quickly shoot my mom a text about staying over Niall’s. I know that if I had to say it out loud, I’d crack and tell her the truth. And I can’t have that. She’d make me come home in a heartbeat.

“I’m ready!” I’m as cheery as can be as I glide into his car.

He turns on his music as we drive and I fall even further for this stranger. It’s a mix of The Fray, Green Day, and Oasis. It’s soft and punk and perfect. It’s like him, I imagine. I bundle myself into his jacket a bit more as we get closer to our destination.

We enter the diner with Zayn and some girl and head straight to a booth in the back left corner. I sit on the end, ready to leave at any moment. But Louis slips his arm around my shoulder and I crumble into him. He smells even better this close and not through a jacket. Like… Fruit. And smoke.

“What can I get you guys tonight? The usual? And for you, young man?” She looks directly at me. The others must be regulars.

“I’m good, thank you.” I had lied to my mother earlier; I don’t have extra money on me. I ran out a week ago, only left with my savings. But I’m fine without buying food. I’ll just make myself something when I get home.

“He’ll have the same as us, El,” Louis says, overruling me. The waitress walks away and I turn to him.

“I don’t have any money on me. I can’t-”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.”

“Louis, I can’t do that. We literally just met, I’ve already-”

“Harold Whatever-Your-Middle-Name-Is Last-Name,” I burst into a fit of giggles, “I’m offering. And you’re accepting.”

“Okay, fine. Thank you.” I pause. “And it’s Edward Styles. Harry Edward Styles.”

“Cool. I’m Louis William Tomlinson.” His smile is breathtaking. He gets these crinkles in his eyes and his entire being just lights up.

“Get a room, you two,” the only girl at the table, a curly-haired blonde junior that I’ve never met before, tells us.

“Leave ‘em alone, Pez. They’ve just met. They’re like us before we dated.”

“So before all of my friends were gay. When you thought you liked girls.” Her voice is playful and I can tell that I’m gonna like her if I get the chance to know her. She’s not upset that her boyfriend turned out to be gay. She sounds proud, even. Wait, does that mean Louis’ gay?

“Yeah, exactly!” The two start talking animatedly, leaving Louis and me to talk on our own as well.

“So, what is it that you ordered me?”

“A- Oh, here it is.” The waitress brings us our food, a tray of burgers and fries and a separate tray of milkshakes.

“Here you are. Enjoy!” She places our orders down and walks off without another word.

“I hope you don’t mind strawberry milkshakes, ‘cause that’s what I ordered. I can get you a replacement if you don’t like it, though. I should’ve asked before, sorry.”

“I love strawberries. Don’t worry.” I take a sip of the drink to prove my point and he relaxes.

“Okay, good. Cool. And the burger’s just a normal burger, but with no tomatoes and extra bacon.”

“Sounds delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

We stop talking and dive into our food. It’s delicious. I devour the entire thing in minutes, sipping on the milkshake once I’m done. I can’t help but feel amazed at where I am. Earlier today, I was alone in my room, doing homework like I always do. Now, I’m out with the school bad boys and getting dinner and wearing Louis’ jacket.

By the time we’re all done eating and talking, the sun is setting. My mom texted back a little while ago to let me know that it’s fine for me to stay over Niall’s. So I have to figure out where I’ll go for the night. I could sneak into my house and tell her I came home early, but that makes me super nervous that I’ll get caught on my way in.

“What are you thinking about, Styles?” Louis’ voice is suddenly in my ear.

“Nothing. Just how I’m gonna get into my house. I told my mom I was sleeping over a friend’s house.” I spill my guts to him, unable to hide the truth from anyone.

“Well, you are.”

“What?”

“You can sleep at my house. I live alone, so there’s no one to bother you other than me.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

\-----

We end up getting to his house at a quarter past ten, way past when I’m usually asleep. So I’m already ready to fall asleep. But Louis’ locked out of his place and can’t find his keys. He’s at the point that he’s realized they’re inside his house. So he’s calling Zayn to come over, as he’s the only one with an extra key.

Louis and I are both sat against the door, next to each other. He moves so he’s in front of me and begins talking to me.

“Wanna play twenty questions?”

“Sure.” He smiles, rocking back and clapping a bit.

“You can go first.”

“Why do you live alone?”

“I got emancipated about a year ago. My parents weren’t great and I needed to escape. So I did. I saved up for a while before that, so I can afford this place. I work all the time, but it’s worth it. My aunt sends me money every week or so, too, ‘cause she supports my decision. She’s one of the only family members I’m still in contact with.”

“Oh, cool. I mean, that sucks, but good for you.”

“Thanks. Why haven’t we met before?”

“We’ve never had any classes together. And we don’t really hang out with the same crowd exactly. I hang out with the more stuck up part of our school. What’s your biggest fear?” I notice as I speak that his eyes are glued to my lips.

“That I’ll never find someone to stay with me forever. Why don’t you hang out with people you like instead of the stuck up kids?”

“I do like them. And I mean, Niall’s not stuck up. He’s about ready to tell the world he’s bi. It’s just Liam. And our parents are friends, so I kind of have to like him.”

“You don’t have to. You have a choice.” We both subtly begin moving closer, our breath battling.

“I’ve been watching you from afar for so long, I never once thought I’d be this close to you.” I let out a shaky chuckle, unsure how he’ll react to my admission.

“I’m so glad you were under the bleachers today. I couldn’t resist the green-eyed doe standing there, looking lost. Wanted to kiss you right then and there.”

“Do you still want to kiss me?” He nods.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Our lips our almost touching.

“Yes.” We both lean in instantaneously, our lips connecting.

As we kiss, I move towards him, straddling him. He pushes his tongue into my mouth. He tastes like the milkshake from earlier and his cigarettes. His nose, rubs against my cheek, pressing against me almost uncomfortably. But instead, it’s just a reminder that this is a real kiss. A kiss with passion, and feeling, and meaning. His hand moves and cups my face, guiding everything that’s happening. Just as it’s getting really good, someone coughs at us, stopping it.

“I’ve got your keys, Lou.” Zayn’s standing there, holding said keys.

“Thanks,” Louis responds, out of breath. I feel this odd sense of pride knowing that I did that.

Zayn hands Louis the spare key and proceeds to leave. Louis opens the door in a hurry and reconnects our lips. As we continue what we started, he kicks the door closed and pulls us to a seat in the corner of the one-roomed apartment. From what I can see, the only room other than this is the bathroom.

He sits in the chair and pulls me into his lap. Our makeout begins getting heated, furious pulling off clothing and pushing of tongues into mouths. He starts undressing me, pulling my shirt off in one move and starting to work on my pants.

But I put my hands over his to push him away. “Lou, no, I don’t-”

“Why not?” He sounds hurt.

“I’ve never even kissed someone before. I don’t want my first experience to be everything. I’m sorry.”

“No, I get it. We should get some sleep. Let’s move to the bed.”

The bed is just a mattress on the floor with some blankets thrown on it. We both strip down to our underwear and lay on it. He pulls me into him, spooning me. He throws his leg over mine and I can feel that he’s a bit hard. I feel bad, but I know it’s my decision and he understands.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We met earlier today; we’ve got plenty of time to go further.”

I fall asleep in his arms, his scent surrounding me.

\-----

The next few days go by slowly. I don’t see Louis much, but when we do see each other it’s amazing. We share quick kisses and fiery touches, but they only last for moments.

I dream of being his full time. But I know it’s just that. A dream. We’re from two different worlds. I don’t spend as much time with my other friends, either, though. I spend my time focused on school and Louis. Mostly on Louis. He and his beautiful everything.

We’re going to hang out over the weekend. I’m gonna sleep over Friday and we’ll hang out all Sunday. I told my mom about him and she agreed to meet him and decide if I’m allowed to stay over. So that’s happening. It’s terrifying. What if she hates him? What if she realizes I’m gay?

I don’t realize that I said the last question aloud until I hear a laundry bin hit the ground. I look up and am faced with my mother standing in my doorway.

“I-I was just bringing- It was left down there, I thought I’d-” I start crying a bit, releasing the pent up feeling I’ve been holding in.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t want you to find out, I’m sorry I’m gay. I’m sorry I’m not normal…” Instead of yelling like I expected, she comes up to my bed and holds my head in her hands. She kisses me gently on the forehead.

“You are perfectly fine the way you are.” She pushes me over a bit and sits next to me on the bed, holding me. “I had a feeling you were gay. Glad I won that bet and the one that you’d knock a girl up in college. Your father thought you might forget a condom in your rush to be straight. Some alpha male thing or whatever. Men, am I right?”

I laugh and she continues rubbing my back soothingly. “True. So you and dad bet on my sexual life?”

“Of course. What else would we do with our free time?” I lean into her. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

“Is that Stewie kid you’re introducing us to tomorrow gay too?” She wiggles her eyebrows a bit and I laugh again.

“It’s Louis. And yes. He is gay.”

“Is he just a friend?”

“Kind of. He’s not my boyfriend, but we do more than friends do.”

We talk for a little longer about how to have safe sex and to save myself unless I’m 100% sure. I’m bright pink at the end, a bit uncomfortable from the topic change. She leaves to make dinner and I collapse into myself, relieved that the secret’s out.

\-----

“Guess who!” Louis wraps his hands around my face, covering my eyes. I’m standing under the bleachers, waiting for him. Niall’s with me, sick of the distance between us. He wants to bridge the gap and leave Liam completely. Get away from the arguments.

“Hey, Lou.” I turn around and connect our lips. We pull away after a few moments and Niall shuffles a bit beside us. Zayn’s suddenly there, too, a smile on his stunning features.

“Hi, I’m Niall. I’m one of Harry’s friends.” His voice is small, something unusual for him.

“I’m Zayn. This is Louis.” There’s something in his voice that implies more. Like it’s heavier, weighted with more emotion than he usually allows.

“Nice to meet ya. Zayn.” He tries the name out like a glove, slipping it on easily and welcoming the warmth that follows.

The two of them leave us to talk somewhere distant, though they stand a few mere feet away. They’re lost in their own world, caught up in each other.

“So, I’m meeting your parents tonight, right? Anything I should know going in?”

“They just found out I’m gay. My mom’s super accepting, but my dad’s still coming around. Be prepared for my mom bombarding you with questions about why you haven’t made me your boyfriend yet and stuff like that. Otherwise, I don’t know what to prepare you for.”

“Okay… About that boyfriend thing-”

“We’re gonna go now, just so you know.” Goddammit, Niall. You had to regain your bubbly demeanor right at this moment.

“Okay. See you later!” I wave with faux happiness, pretending my world isn’t about to completely change. I know it’s super cliche, but Louis asking me to be his boyfriend would be the biggest thing in my life so far. Not that that’s hard.

The two leave holding hands. They are adorable, I must admit. I turn back to Louis. He doesn’t go back to the topic from before, though. He simply grabs my hand and pulls me to his car.

\-----

When we get to my house, it’s quiet. My father says hello to me and greets Louis gruffly, but past that there’s nothing. Of course, my mom’s bustling about in the kitchen, but the all-around feeling is silence.

“So, what do you plan to do with my son?”

“Treat him well, sir. Nothing less. He deserves the world and I plan to give it to him.” I want to coo at his words, but I restrain myself to simply giving him a loving look and curling into him as much as I can on this small couch. He responds in kind, rubbing my arm gently.

“I respect that idea, but how do you plan on doing so? Do you have a job? What are your plans for the future?”

“Dad, don’t bother Louis like-”

“I do have a job. I plan on going to college and going into a blue-collar job. I’ve got my eyes set on IT right now, but that might change.”

“Good. That’s good.” The room goes quiet again and I pull Louis’ arm around me.

“Dinner’s done! You two are staying for dinner, right?” My mom pops into the room.

“Of course, miss. Thank you.” Louis is shocking me with his manners tonight. He’s always a gentleman with me, but tonight it’s times ten.

We sit around the table and begin eating immediately. Louis makes sure to continuously thank and compliment my mother. I eat silently, unwilling to test how far my family will go in the conversation. My father simply grunts as an answer to Louis’ constant gratefulness and my mother fawns over how kind Louis is.

“So, Louis, how are your parents?” Louis’ face falls for a brief moment before he returns to smiling.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I haven’t spoken to them since my emancipation.”

Conversation completely halts. It’s silent. Not even the sound of forks scraping our plates continues. Only Louis remains neutral, still eating and smiling as if everything is fine.

“I’m so sorry for bringing it up, darling.” My mom is the one to break the silence. “Well, you’re welcome here anytime.”

“Thank you.” We continue eating in silence until Louis and I excuse ourselves to leave.

“Have fun this weekend,” my mom calls.

“But not too much fun,” I hear my father’s gruff voice follow with.

“Dad!” I pull Louis out of the house behind me. He’s a giggling mess and I glare at him for a moment before falling into a smile.

\-----

When we get to Louis’ flat, we immediately kiss. It’s a simple thing, barely more than a peck on the lips, but it’s enough. It’s more than we’ve done all evening. He brushes my long curls out of my eyes and places his hand on my cheek.

“Let’s sit down.”

We sit on his bed, the only place we can sit side by side rather than in each other’s laps. His hand finds its way into mine and my head sits on his shoulder. His other arm wraps around my shoulder and we sit like that for a few moments, breathing each other in.

As always, he smells like strawberries and cigarettes. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love that it smells like him, envelops me and reminds me he’s here. I love how it just encompasses everything about him. You know so much about him just from how he smells. You know immediately how stressed he is based on the strength, how happy he is depending on the amount of fruitiness. But I hate the fact that he smokes. How he allows himself to do this shitty habit. I don’t mind the strawberry, I love it in fact. But I don’t like how his smell reminds me constantly that he’s addicted to those damn cancer sticks.

“What are you thinking about, babe?” His smooth voice fills the air.

“Why do you smoke?” I ask as we lay back, lacing ourselves together.

“Helps me relieve stress.”

“Do you think you’ll ever quit?” He looks at me for a moment before responding.

“Maybe. Someone could convince me, probably.”

“Could I?”

“Maybe. I don’t know yet.”

\-----

The weekend is over much too fast, a rush of conversation and little more. We go out for a little on Saturday to see a movie and make out in the back, but other than that we invest our time in each other. We also went a bit further than kissing. Not too far, but enough. We gave each other a pair of sweaty hand jobs on Saturday night, when we came home from the theater. It was a sweet moment, as weird as that sounds. Our foreheads bumped each other and our lips dashed together every few moments. Then, Saturday morning, I woke him up to sucking him off. Once he came, he ate me out and fingered me. It was incredible.

Right now, we’re on our way back to my house. It was a nice weekend, but that’s probably all it is. He still has yet to bring up whether or not we’re dating.

The drive is quiet, but not in a bad way. It’s a restful kind of silence. The car smells mostly of cigarettes, but for once I don’t mind. It’s beginning to be a calming scent rather than a sorrow reminder and I’m not sure how to feel about that.

“We’re here, babe.”

“Okay.” I wait a moment for him to move, but when he doesn’t, I stand up and get out of the car on my own. Surprisingly, he follows me. “You’re gonna walk me in?”

“Of course, Haz. I’m not gonna let you leave without saying goodbye.” He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me into a heated kiss. There’s fire behind it, but I won’t mention it in fear he’ll run away from the topic.

“Goodbye,” I say, looking up at him through my lashes, a feat with our height difference. As we stand there, the headlights shine on us, lighting us up for the world to see.

“I wanted to ask you something. Do you-”

“Harry! You’re home!” My mother comes rushing out from the house right at that moment, interrupting the lovely moment Lou and I were having.

“Yeah! Bye, Louis. I’ll see you tomorrow, right? You can ask me then.” He looks reluctant, but he nods. He backs away a bit and gets back in the car, the only remnants left of him being his smell.

“Come on in, Haz, it’s cold out!” It’s not. I’m in a jacket, plenty to keep me warm in this weather. But I listen. “How was your weekend? What did you two do?”

I dive into a half-hearted explanation, feeling empty now that Louis’ gone.

\-----

I don’t see Louis at school the next day. And he doesn’t text me at all, or call me, or do anything in any way to let me know he’s okay. Did I do something to make him ghost me? Was that the plan all along? To get me to give him a blow job or two and then leave?

I feel used. But I need to get over myself. For all I know, he’s at home, sick as a dog, and unable to gather enough energy to text me. Besides, I haven’t texted him either. So it’s not like it’s all on him.

I need to calm down. Get him out of my head.

But I don’t know what else to think about. Him and his black jeans, jean jackets, graphic tees. His cigarettes and lighters and the sweetness that follows a kiss with him. The way his eyes crinkle a bit when he smiles his genuine smile, how he plays with his sleeve when he’s nervous or upset, or thumbs at his skull tattoo.

He’s just so incredible.

I fall asleep that night to the thought of him. I pull my sweater into my face, the one I wore over his house, and breathe the scent of him in. By morning, everything will be fine.

\-----

By morning, everything is not fine. Louis’ still not there and has yet to text me. I need to keep in mind that I’m not the center of his world. He has other things to do. Other people to see. Hopefully not romantically, but we’re not exclusive, so it’s his decision.

That’s what I tell myself as I leave the house. Until I look up and am faced with his car in my driveway. He’s standing in front of it, his legs and arms crossed. He looks like every teen girl’s dream guy, and he’s all mine. Sort of.

“Wanna skip with me?” If it were anyone else, I would immediately say no and leave. But it’s not anyone else.

“Sure.”

So we leave my house and go to a cafe. The outside is grungy, fitting Louis’ aesthetic. The sign reads “Tomlinson’s Tea Treats,” revealing a connection to Louis. We go in and he leads me straight to the counter.

“Hey, Aunty. I’ll have a Yorkshire tea with no sugar and-”

“I know what you want Lou. What does your friend,” eyebrow wiggle, “want?”

“I’ll have a-”

“He’ll have the same as me, but sugar instead of milk.” I gape at him. That’s exactly how I would order that tea. “And add on a pastry for each of us. One of the raspberry ones that I like.”

She walks away from us, working on our order. Louis drags me to the pickup area and I finally get a chance to speak. “How did you know what I’d want to order?”

“I pay attention. And all of those things fit your personality well, so I hoped I’d be right.” He makes eye contact with me, revealing worry. “Does it bother you that I order for you?”

I shake my head. “No. I think, if it were anyone else, it would. But I don’t mind you doing it. It feels right, as weird as that sounds.”

He pulls me into him, holding me under his arm. Despite being taller than him, I’m suddenly smaller than him.

“Here’s your stuff Lou.” His aunt breaks the relaxing air between us, forcing Louis to move and grab our order.

We end up sitting in a quiet corner of the room, allowing the calm to settle again. We don’t say much to each other, just sit in the silence. It’s a good kind of silence, though. The kind that you imagine your grandparents have when alone, or that happens when you’re alone with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile after you’ve caught up. It’s a familiarity that we have despite barely knowing one another.

“What’s your favorite color?” I’ve never been good at silent, pleasant or not.

“Red. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like it should be my turn to start a conversation. I feel bad that you’re always the one carrying our interactions.”

“Babe… Don’t worry about that. I wouldn’t be taking you where I do if I didn’t like our setup.”

“Okay… Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not being bothered by me.”

“Harry… You are not a bother. I don’t know what you’ve been told before, but you are an amazing kid, fun to be around, and extremely enjoyable.”

“Really?” I have tears in my eyes, blessed by the boy in front of me. I ignore the fact that he called me a kid and hold onto the compliments. “Thank you, Lou.”

The rest of the morning is spent in the cafe, allowing a few calm words to pass between us, the bustle of the room being enough to avoid silence.

“Do you wanna do anything else? Or we can just go back to my place.” His words are smooth, a calm siren in the sea of voices that has filled the space.

“Whatever you want.” He shuffles around a bit.

“I want to go somewhere that means something to you. I’ve taken you to the diner, my house, the cafe, and we hang out under the bleachers all the time. I want to see your side of the world.”

I’m speechless. I hadn’t thought about that. We do a lot of what he wants to do. But I don’t mind it. It’s what I’ve always done. But maybe it’s time to change that.

“I really love taking walks around the park downtown. It’s where I go when I need some time to myself.”

“Let’s go there then. If you don’t mind showing me that side of your life.”

“No, yeah, let’s go there.”

\------

As we stand in the park, hands connected and bodies close, I understand so much. Like how people figure out who they want to spend their lives with. And why people believe in soulmates. Because I have some sort of connection to Louis that I don’t want to ever break. Not necessarily soulmate level, but something like that.

His fingers brush against mine as we walk, separating a bit from me to allow us to move. We take a lap around the green field, passing small comments back and forth. The words are meaningless, but that means everything. We don’t need to have something important to say for the conversation to flow.

“Hey Lou?”

“Yeah, Harry?”

“What are we?”

“What do you mean? We’re good friends, right?” Right. Friends. Friends that suck each other off, friends that spend weekends together. Friends.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I grip his hand again as we pass the bathrooms. “Wanna suck you off in the stalls.”

He lets me lead him, dragging him in and locking us in, getting down on my knees. I unbutton his jeans, pulling them down just enough to slip his cock out. It’s not the first time I’ve done this, but it takes my breath away every time I see him. He’s not extremely long, but he’s got a lot of girth. It’s long enough to hit the back of my throat and stretch my lips enough to hurt a bit, makes my jaw ache.

His hand laces through my hair, the other one pulling his dick out of my mouth to rub it against my face a bit. We’ve discussed our likes and dislikes and this was one of the numerous things we agreed on liking. I love the feeling of being used, apparently.

“Gonna fuck your mouth… Gonna fuck it so good, baby…”

He shoves back in and thrusts in and out with force and speed. His hand on the back of my head is being used to force me up and down. I can already feel my throat beginning to ache and I can’t help but feel excited for people to hear me speak and know that something happened. Realistically, they’ll probably assume I just have a cold. But I still like the idea of people knowing.

He harshly thrusts in a few more times before holding my head all the way down to cum directly down my throat. He grunts out as my throat flutters around his cock head.

“Oh, you’ve got the mouth of a god, Haz.” He pulls out of my mouth and I whine a bit. “Can you wait to get back to my house to get off? I wanna eat you out.”

“Yeah,” I get out, my voice even raspier than usual. “Can’t wait.”

\-----

Once again, he disappears for a few days after we skip together. But this time, I don’t waste my time on him. I move forward, letting him be the one to decide if he wants this or not. It hurts, but I can be mature enough to move on until he changes his mind.

I sent him a text that night when I got home, but he has yet to respond. I put the effort in, but it’s never going to be enough. Which is okay. I- have a message on my phone.

From Louis. Saying that he wants to see me.

I respond in a hurry, typing out an agreement. We're gonna meet and talk about us. All I can hope is that we figure this out and get passed his inability to commit.

He’s invited me for dinner tomorrow, offering to drive me home from school. But I told him I’d come over for five o’clock. I’m nervous about this whole thing, but I’ll be okay. This will all be okay.

\-----

It’s four o’clock, and I’m not ready. Niall’s come over to help me a little bit, but I still can hardly breathe. I’m shaking, making it a bit difficult to get dressed and do my hair. In the end, Niall has to do my hair for me. He also ends up convincing me to let him put a little makeup on me. He adds mascara and lip gloss to my face, decorating me like a cake.

“I think I’m done. You need me to give you a ride?”

I accept his ride and we head out. The car ride is silent, disrupted only by the tapping of fingers. Niall drums a beat out as he drops me off at Louis’ place. I wish him well and get out to see the boy I may or may not be in love with.

I enter the building and monotonously walk up to his floor. My fist meets the door and he opens up to me, shuffling around and displaying the same anxiety I’m feeling.

“Haz… You came…” He’s in utter disbelief that I’ve showed up.

“I will go wherever you tell me to Lou. I would never just leave-” He pulls me in and shuts the door at the same time as kissing me passionately. It’s bruising, but means everything. It means that the barrier is gone and it’s just us now, no more nerves.

“I’m sorry I keep leaving.” We’ve only spoken briefly about it, but he knows that I don’t like how he leaves every time we get close.

“Why do you do it?”

He takes a moment to decide whether or not to answer and how to answer. “I- I don’t want you to leave first, I guess. I’ve always done that. My current friends are only still around because they forced themselves. I’m sorry.”

He won’t look me in the eyes, but I pull him into me and begin kissing his forehead. For once, I don’t mind being taller. It gives me the advantage in this situation. But I have no issue when Louis takes control and begins kissing me.

“I want to fuck you Harry. And this time, I won’t leave you after. I want to be your boyfriend.” I nod hurriedly, my eyes wide and my mind races.

“I want to be fucked by you. Please.”

He pulls me to the bed and grabs lube. He takes our shirts and my bottoms off. He hovers over me for a moment and that moment is lovely. I’m completely breathless. His lips flutter down my neck and suck on my collarbones.

“Are you wearing makeup baby?” I nod. “You look so pretty.”

I can feel where our crotches meet, grinding against each other, and I moan a bit. He pushes down a bit and I buck up. We continue on in this rhythm for a bit before Louis finally moves down to open me up. He opens the lube as his mouth ends up on my hold. He sucks for a moment before thrusting his tongue in, lapping at me from the inside. His finger gets added in and he quickly finds my prostate. He removes his mouth from my ass and begins deepthroating me while he fingers me open. He adds a second and third finger, spreading me in order to make sure I’m ready for him. I cum in his mouth, painting his throat with my sperm.

“So good, baby boy.” He shifts back up to kiss my lips, sharing the taste of my orgasm with me, and holds his cock in front of my hole, ready to pop my cherry. “Gonna fuck you now.”

His hands are on either side of my face as he hovers above me, bottoming out in my warm body. I can feel every vein on his cock rubbing against my walls.

“Oh! It feels so good, Louis, so, so good.”

He begins pounding into me, thrusting at my prostate repeatedly. He keeps going, his hand finding its way to my dick. He begins to tug me off in time with his thrusts, quickly bringing me to the edge. As he pumps into me a few more times, I squeeze around him and cum all over our torsos. My legs go from lying beneath him to wrapping around his waist, forcing him to stay inside of me as he also cums.

He cleans us up at a slow pace, gentle with every touch. He kisses me at every chance, his lips familiarizing themselves with the crooks and crevices of my body.

“Louis… I love you…” I let my feelings slip but I don’t regret it at all. He needs to know how happy he makes me feel.

“I love you too baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry the smut was a bit rushed. I've been writing this for a few weeks now and wanted to just get it done. I really loved writing this, though, so I might do more song-based fics.
> 
> Also, my tumblr is larrrystlinson as well, it'd be great if people would send me prompts.


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